One of my favourite movies of all time is a movie directed by Richard Linklater, n Before Sunset. The premise is about two people who once spent a night in Vienna (actually its precursor, Before Sunrise, now spending an afternoon together in Paris, and as the movie happens in real time, consists of them talking, while moving through the suburbs of Paris. I love it however, and have watched it countless times. Sometimes just letting the movie play while I work, listening in to the conversations they have.
I am not much of a social person at heart. I've spent most of my life watching movies, writing, gaming, and not much in actually conversing with people. In a way I'm somewhat awkward at times. Granted, I'm not anti-social, but a good book or movie often trumps a night out for me any day. Still I believe one of the most beautiful moments in the world are meaningless conversations that in time, turns out to be the most meaningful moments you've ever had.
It often works that way as moments ferment and change, mixing with your emotions to sometimes encapsulate them, turning them into as an analogy, wine. (Or tapai if that's more of your thang.)
And I've always love that. Conversations, I mean. You don't meet those people who you can have those often. Most happen far and between but the ones you do have it with often become lifelong friends, and sometimes lovers.
The last Great Conversation I had was a few months ago. We met a month earlier at an event where I just thought she was awesome. Fast forward a few weeks later, and I managed to get her to go out with me on a date.
(How I did so by the way, will be written later.)
She came late, having had an appointment prior before. We agreed to meet at Starbucks. I ordered a Soy Latte, and waited nervously near the window.
Half an hour later, she walked in, and took my breath away.
Followed 30 seconds later by bemusement, when she berated me on my choice of soy. Yep, definitely an ice breaker right there.
There is this one quote attributed to Albert Einstein;
'When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.'
And it was. There are moments in your life when it felt like forever. I once fell and hit my head on the wall, quite badly. I remember the whole incident, which probably took around one second in being much longer. I remember the fall happening in slow motion, and seeing everything pass me by before I passed out.
She came around 11 in the evening, where our chats on horses and dolphins veered into our pasts, and grilled pigeons being potentially delicious as we had our supper at Asia Cafe (I didn't order the pigeons, I was too chickenshit). Before I knew it, it was already 4 in the morning. I walked her to her car. And she showed me the flowers I bought her. She drove me to my car, and we said our goodbyes.
I wanted to stay longer, I really did. I remember that night more than I remember some of the years of my life. But I didn't want to spoil that moment. It was perfect. She loves to remind me sometimes of getting that plate of grilled pigeons.
I'm probably just getting old. In the movie Before Sunset, we always see them on the verge of romance, yet always remaining on the proverbial cliff looking down. Life has moved on and they're different people now. Married or with different lovers. When we were young we were a paradox. Always living as if life is forever, and all of us dying young. Old age is something that only happens to our parents. Eleven years later we are that something that only happens to our parents, and that dive of a cliff gets harder to make, with responsibilites shankled to our feet.
Yet we would always have moments, only different. Jesse, the male protagonist in the movie have this to say about the world;
Maybe what I'm saying is, is the world might be evolving the way a person evolves. Right? Like, I mean, me for example. Am I getting worse? Am I improving? I don't know. When I was younger, I was healthier, but I was, uh, whacked with insecurity, you know? Now I'm older and my problems are deeper, but I'm more equipped to handle them.
And that's what we would be. We might not dive off the cliff, but it doesn't me we just disappear. We could opt to walk down, while looking at the scenery. Or just sit there, and wait for the sunset.
The essence of our moments changes, but it's not to say it wouldn't be as beautiful. And as the years gone by it accumulates, and we will realise that it was worth the while.
C'est la vie.
